Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Acid is not a monday night drug
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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