Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
