There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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