She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
