So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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