I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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