Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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