All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
