dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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