If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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