margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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