Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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