So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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