dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
