So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
