Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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