seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
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Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
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He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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