Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
