Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
