I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
pop tarts are not kleenex
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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