Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
