Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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