Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
