The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
