I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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