I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize