So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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