grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize