i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I think people are normalizing furries
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
