id be glad to
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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