One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
