i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him