You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago