Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
