All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
