Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.