No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?