Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize