your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
