Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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