none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize