I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
