Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
