just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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