I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
