it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
