"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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