When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so let's talk penis.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
