Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize