D3 body, D1 cock
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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