Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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