Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
