it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize