Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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