You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
