The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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