All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
