dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
