you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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