oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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