I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize