Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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