He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
