just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
