its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
