Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Randomize
