why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
