Did you just see the Batmobile???
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
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You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
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So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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