The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
